The first paragraph started it off with the very
personal story of a man stabbing a woman and then having troubles in prison. The reporter, Pam Belluck, then switched
gears very quickly. Just in the second paragraph, she wrote, “Despite that, he
has recently been entrusted with an extraordinary responsibility.” The nut graph appears in the fifth
paragraph. Do you think Belluck introduced it in the best way possible? I think
it was well done, but we all have our own favorite writing techniques, of
course.
We talked last week about
“jargony,” as Clay called it, a technique used to advance an issue. Do you
think the reporter used that method for this story? Do you think this story has
a broad appeal? Did it start off that way, or did the reporter introduce the newsworthiness later on?
It’s obviously important for
reporters to provide a fair and balanced account of the issues they are
reporting on. I think Belluck did a good job of leaving out her opinions and
providing enough appropriate sources. Would you agree?
Here's the link to the story:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/26/health/dealing-with-dementia-among-aging-criminals.html?hp
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/26/health/dealing-with-dementia-among-aging-criminals.html?hp
The more I read the article, the more bored I became. I know that sounds bad, but after the second page, it was just example after example of information the reader had already been presented with.
ReplyDeleteThe first two pages, however, had a really interesting story to tell. People don't see this side of inmates in high security prisons, or probably at all. I was a little wary when the author started mentioning the money that is required for the care of the prisoners because that usually leads to a heated debate about how tax dollars are used. I think that she should have explored other ways to talk about it, or put something else in. I'm not sure exactly.
I think that this story doesn't exactly have 'appeal' to anyone, but anyone can read it without any background or personal connection. Maybe the article should be reworked so that it starts off centered around the tax dollar issue, something that has a broader appeal, and then focus in on the stories of the prisoners to give it a human element. That way more people are interested and there is a call to action for a changing of attitude.
The more I read the article, the more bored I became. I know that sounds bad, but after the second page, it was just example after example of information the reader had already been presented with.
ReplyDeleteThe first two pages, however, had a really interesting story to tell. People don't see this side of inmates in high security prisons, or probably at all. I was a little wary when the author started mentioning the money that is required for the care of the prisoners because that usually leads to a heated debate about how tax dollars are used. I think that she should have explored other ways to talk about it, or put something else in. I'm not sure exactly.
I think that this story doesn't exactly have 'appeal' to anyone, but anyone can read it without any background or personal connection. Maybe the article should be reworked so that it starts off centered around the tax dollar issue, something that has a broader appeal, and then focus in on the stories of the prisoners to give it a human element. That way more people are interested and there is a call to action for a changing of attitude.
Life, with Dementia started off on a very different and attention grabbing way. I thought it was just going to go on and on about one particular prisoner, but it did an excellent job at appealing towards a broader issue. Even though the article became a little bit dull as I continued reading, i thought the video brought a very impacting multimedia segment to the story all together.
ReplyDeleteThe newsworthiness was noted instantly in the beginning of the article because it made the cognitively impaired prisoner problem apparent with sources and statistics. I remember specifically how the author stated how a prisoner can age up to 15 years faster if the inmate is 50 years or older. The author did a good job at making a story about prison mates invoke compassion for the dementia struck prisoner, but I definitely feel like it dragged on more than it should have.
I agree with Cathryn that as I continued to read the article, I became bored with the story that it was telling. The first two pages really held me, but then as I continued I felt that I was reading the same thing over and over again. I did like what the article talked about and the message behind it. However, I think that this is another example of how the length of an article is very important.
ReplyDeleteThe video was a nice addition and brought good impact and emotion to the story. It added the human element and made you connect further to the prisoners. I thought that the story was appealing to any reader. It is just an interesting story. You never really think of the struggles that people in jail have and the author did a nice job showing that side of the system.
This story pulled me in right away. I liked the contrast in the two opening paragraphs. This story opened the readers eyes to a perspective most people don't ever get a glimpse of. I definately agree with Angela and Cathryn. This story had a lot of information that was just in a different form. There were many individual personal stories strung throughout the story, maybe the author could have chosen one? As the writer it is sometimes hard to let go of information that we find compelling. I often get attached to my stories, and I could see how easy that would be in this case.
ReplyDeleteI think the writer did a nice job of showing both sides of the system. I like the placement of the video on the webpage. After watching the video it made me more interested in the story, and I found myself wanting to keep reading on after page two. Putting a face to the names makes the reading more compelling.
I really liked how this issue used examples of specific patients to paint a picture of a wider epidemic of dementia within the penitentiary system. Besides Shawshank Redemption, I never really think about prisoners being old men, which I think is same for the typical profile of a convicted felon.
ReplyDeleteHaving a grandpa who suffered from dementia, I thought that this painted a completely accurate picture of the disease. They are very prone to angry outbursts and get very frustrated that they can't remember basic information. I also remember another woman in the nursing home with my grandpa who always said that her father frequently stopped to visit her (she was well over 80) which was very similar to the man who waited for his mother to pick him up.
Overall I thought it was well written, although it was a little longer than necessary I thought, especially since the author used the same formula throughout the whole piece. I thought she could have broadened the issue even more instead of just focusing entirely on anecdotes.
At first I found this article very interesting. However, as it continued, I began to get very bored and just hoping it would end. I wouldn't necessarily call this a quick read either.
ReplyDeleteI liked the use of anecdotes and statistics to help support the facts, and I also enjoyed watching the video a lot more than I did reading the article. It definitely a nice addition to the article.
Overall, I find this to be an interesting topic and I enjoyed the first two pages of it. I just felt it was a little longer than necessary, and the last two pages didn't contain any new insight to the story.
The article reeled me in quickly. I liked the introduction. I also found it interesting to learn about dementia in prisons. I hadn't even thought about what really happens to criminals who serve life sentences in prisons. Are people really going to want to take care of them when they start to forget who they really are?
ReplyDeleteThis story had a couple good statistics. "In 2010, 9,560 people 55 and older were sentenced to prison." I didn't know that.
However, I did get bored by the end of the story. The first two pages were intriguing, but you lost me at page three. I agree that this wasn't necessarily a quick read.
I think the author did a really nice job of furthering the issue in this article. She presents the reader with a lot of background information that makes you feel like you now could talk about the subject.
ReplyDeleteThe author also did a good job of not injecting her bias into the piece. It is also for that reason that the reader would be able to about to digest the information and form their own opinion on the subject matter.
Overall I enjoyed this article. It was an easy read with a couple of cool anecdotes that advanced the story.
I really enjoyed the anecdotes the reporter used and I feel they were used well to hook and carry the story forward, especially as it got boring in the middle.
ReplyDeleteI liked that the broad topic of dementia was applied to so many different situations. Diseases may be pretty uniform, but they affect different lives different ways.
I also got pretty bored toward the middle or end and I've started to see a trend with how I get bored with longer stories. It makes me wonder if I'm the only one and if I'm not, do people actually read these long stories people write?